Feeling stressed again and nothing is improving?
Survival mode, boiling blood, short tempers -- it’s not just you, my friend. This is the cycle millions of us go through daily. But, you can cut it short and find your way back to calm.
Tight deadlines, sudden changes of plan, new demands, more problems, more decisions--and now your blood is boiling again. You’re getting angry, irritated, and frustrated. You thought you finally found some time to do something you love and enjoy. You were fine in the morning. Of course, you had to wake up early to drive your kids to school. Last night wasn’t particularly joyful either. You managed to watch a movie, but you slept a little too late because of it. That’s the only time you really get for yourself after all the day’s duties. Now you feel like you’re in survival mode, and on top of that, there’s little appreciation for your contributions at both work and home. Sure, you love your family, and they love you back. You’re the greatest parent, spouse, partner. But still… we’re not always rational, and elevated emotions make us say and think things we would never consider on a normal, peaceful day.
If you are that person, then read on.
You’ve probably guessed by now--I’m no different. From the way I described it above, you might have thought, “Wow, this guy gets it! He understands.” And yes, I do. But here’s the truth: it’s not that I’m just like you--you are like millions of us who go through these challenges every single day. The difference? Right now, you’re simply reading a story that makes you realize you’re not alone. Welcome to the team.
I’m no doctor, and I won’t give you medical advice. I’ll only share what many of us do to manage without resorting to heavy medications. And I don’t believe everyone needs prescription drugs to calm down. Often, lifestyle changes help. And for some, simple aids like supplements can play a role--but they’re just one option among many, not a one-size-fits-all fix.
Here’s how the cycle usually unfolds when the day gets worse:
Trigger (internal or external)
Symptoms rise (irritation, tension, rumination)
Escalation (anger, emotional memories surface, hot-blooded state)
Crisis point (hasty thoughts and risky decisions)
Disengagement / Reset (break, sleep, change of environment)
Recovery (calm returns, perspective restored)
Let’s dive into each step.
Triggers
The fun part. I break them into two categories: external and internal.
External triggers are things like something your manager, friend, or even a stranger says to you. They could also be unexpected changes of plan, extra decisions stacked on top of your day, tight deadlines suddenly handed over, or being questioned yet again. Some are obvious. Others might seem irrational to outsiders--but they’re real to you.
Internal triggers are cooked up in your own head. Built-up anger, unresolved family drama, letting problems define your self-worth, self-pity, imposter syndrome, old memories surfacing… these are harder to predict and even harder to escape.
Okay, now you know what a trigger is.
Symptoms Rise
Here it comes--the anger, the frustration. You’re overwhelmed again. Your blood is boiling. At this stage, you might feel betrayed. Past memories begin surfacing slowly. Things aren’t bad yet--you’re still managing. But after several more triggers, you’ll enter a different territory.
Escalation
Now things are worse. You’re visibly angry. You keep it under control to some extent, but when you see someone close, you want to unload. You start talking about how things aren’t going well again. Memories of similar past frustrations resurface. You feel betrayed, blindsided, disappointed. You had plans you looked forward to today, but now they’re pushed off--maybe forever. You swing between blaming yourself and blaming others.
Crisis Point
Not everyone reaches this stage every time--but it exists. This is where hearts break and bridges burn. You may lash out at the people you shouldn’t: your family, your closest friends, the ones who love you and want to help. If you believe in God, this is the stage where you may even feel let down, wondering why your prayers for relief have gone unanswered.
Disengagement
Here, the anger starts to fade. You calm down. Some people feel exhausted and take a nap. Others just sleep it off overnight and wake up calmer, as if nothing happened. Some go for a drive, take a walk, or lie down to think. During this reflection, you may begin to see how irrational your reactions were. Clarity grows, and with it, calmness.
Recovery
You’re back. Maybe a little ashamed, though still partly justified. That’s okay--it happens. You’re back to baseline until the next cycle begins. For some, the cycle returns in days or weeks. For others, it’s back the very next day--which is toughest, especially if you’re already sensitive and your environment is full of fresh triggers.
Here’s the tricky part: memory distorts reality. Something that happened once or twice begins to feel like it happens constantly. Your brain digs up every remotely similar memory until it convinces you that this is your permanent state.